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Dear 17-year-old me,
Jul 12, 2020 Real Dating. Sooner or later, it will be necessary to move your relationships from an old man dating site to reality. It may feel like a change of rules. Online dating is way easier than real meetings; however, if you were honest, there’s nothing to be worried about. Rule number one, don’t try to look younger. By assuming teen relationships are just “puppy love,” adults risk overlooking the seriousness of dating violence. Abuse among youth can be just as destructive as among adults, if not more so. Dating abuse can lead to unwanted pregnancy, eating disorders and even suicide. Dating violence happens in every type of relationship, in every community. Feb 15, 2021 Teen Dating Violence affects millions of teens in the U.S. Youth who are victims of TDV are more likely to: Experience symptoms of depression and anxiety Engage in unhealthy behaviors, like using tobacco, drugs, and alcohol Exhibit antisocial behaviors, like lying, theft, bullying or hitting Think about suicide During Teen Dating Violence Awareness.
Yes, he is cute. Yes, he is smart. Yes, he is sweet and attentive. Yes, you have had a crush on him for a long time. And yes, you think you can help him. But, NO – it isn’t your job to save him. No, it is not a good thing that he is isolating you from your friends and family. No, it’s not okay that he is trying to coerce you into having sex. No, it’s not right that he demands to know where you are every minute and no, it’s not right when he yells at you for being with your friends. No, it’s not ok that he belittles you and blames you for his angry outbursts. And NO- it is not love when he strangles you. Yes, he says he loves you, but NO, this is NOT love. This relationship will totally change the course of your life. Unfortunately, years after the relationship ends, you will still be dealing with the trauma you have endured. BUT – you are not alone. Reach out to others and talk to them. There are people out there who can help you. You don’t need to carry this burden on your own. With others help, you will get through this. You will find love, real love, not abuse. And remember, it isn’t your fault that this happened to you.
With love,
Me
This adolescent is not alone; 1 in 3 teens will experience dating violence. Unfortunately, 2 out of 3 will never tell a caring adult about that abuse. Dating violence is a pattern of behavior involving the use or attempted use of physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, economic, technological or other abusive behavior by a person to harm, threaten, intimidate, harass, coerce, control, isolate, restrain or monitor another person with whom they have or have had a social relationship that involves a physical, sexual, or emotional component.
Unfortunately, most community leaders, parents, teachers, school personnel, healthcare providers, and other important youth service providers are unaware of the scope of the problem, and therefore, many young people are unaware that dating abuse is wrong and should not be tolerated. However, if we provide young people with education about healthy relationship skills and attitudes, we can prevent dating violence.
February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month and the following are some important facts about this quiet epidemic.
If you or someone you know is in an unhealthy relationship and needs support, please contact the Riverview Center – in Carroll County, Illinois call 815-244-1320; in Jo Daviess County, Illinois call 815-777-3680. Visit www.loveisrespect.org for more information.
And remember, Love is NOT Abuse.